发现到的一件事实

到现在，那种语气和动作隐隐约约还在我身上发现到。要是不懂我故事的人，肯定以为我是个霸道，没大没小，不分轻重的小女孩。

试问着，在你年纪轻轻，十五六岁的时候就被委任当上一个社会团体的领队，而且你做出的一举一动，任何决定，都必须赤裸裸的呈现在众多在社会上有势力，有地位的人士的面前，当时的你将会如何面对呢？我觉得。。讲出去应该没人会信你吧？呵呵。。

但这是我的事实，就在我十五岁那年，因为贪新鲜而做了我没做过的决定，在毫无准备下当上了某个社会纪律团体的队长。在我委任后，才知道这可不是闹着玩的。

那个社团，在马来西亚华人社会上有一定的位子；那个社团，有着个个卧虎藏龙的理事，不是拿督，就是甲必丹，甚至还有国会上议员；那个社团，让我知道高层社会的处事形态。

就这样，我用了我生命中的五年，为这个社团效劳。在这做领队的五年，有时做不对的还要承受他们的指指点点，冷眼向对，那时我的肩膀有千斤重啊！

就在这种种的情况下，我被逼把纪律，严格，领队风范一一习惯性的融入我的生活里。

就这样，从中便索造了高傲，冷漠，自信和自尊很高的我。。。

就这样。。我变成总是快刀斩乱马和做决定的那个人。。

到了今天，那一件事，让我很明显的察觉到了我的行为。我又再次习惯性的把全部人压在我脚下，甚至是那个人，我也没放在眼里。

因为我一直以来都对自己说：只有真真有势力的人才能把我压下！

不过，经过学姐的劝导，我开窍了些。

我试着对她改观，我已经尽量，很努力要把“对不起”说出口，但是我时终还是不能！因为这个人什么都不是！这个人是靠人际关系直接变凤凰！说实话，并不是我一个这么认为，是很多人这么认为，既然你不能服众，那就靠边站！更不用指望我会对你低声下气！

学姐。。对不起。。我没那么伟大。。我倔强的性格，不是三言两语或是一朝一夕可以驯服的。。

P/S:

这对我是好是坏？是否我能降低我的自尊？是否我能心甘情愿被人领导？这就要等时间来啄摩我的思想了。。

New year resolution

Just came back from  Chinese new year holiday at my mum’s hometown, feel tremendously glad about it..Honestly, i can strongly feel the new year atmosphere around me when I was at there..

Baby, kids, teenagers, adults, and elderly people all gathered in one place, that what just I called a new year gathering..

And I was having around 40+ relatives celebrated C.N.Y with me..i just cant expressed how excited, how touched I am! 

Chinese new year mostly emphasize on gathering among family members and relatives. This is the day or maybe the only chance for those who work or study far from their hometown to come back and reunion with family members. 

I can feel their eagerly go home’s feeling. It’s definitely no kidding. Since I went to study in Kuching, I can really feel the heart and the soul of mine are shouting of HOME-SICK! 

If u’re saying me as a mummy girl or whatever, I will admit it all at once firmly! Because I am! 

When I was at there, in my heart I just feel want to see my mum and dad every single day. And of course, having my mum’s dishes every single meal..suddenly feel so desperate about it..

Well, for this new year I have a new year resolution list of my own. Not I want to change who I am, just I want to elongated what I had done nicely and perfectly in my previous year. Nevertheless,  retrieve what I had done wrongly and make it perfect and proud for me. 

Here’s my resolution list:

1.  Keep a constant effort on my assignments and homework. Make sure my result is above the standard level.

 

2.       Take care of my diet and make sure I have a healthy body. For certain, no indigestion!

3.       Disciplined myself to follow up the daily skincare routine.  So I can have a beautiful facial and skin  and a confident mood! (sometimes just will get so lazy with it..><”)

4.        A better and organized financial management. So that I won’t broke up with those money anytime..lol..

5.       Last but not least, exercise! I just can’t handle and so admire those perfect and seducing bodyline! I want a slim but fit and firm body shape! And my target for this year- --->>45 kg. it’s quite perfect for 155cm girl. (dun laugh)

p/s: hope everything are under my will and control. Wish me have more determination and more lucks for me this year ! Oops! Is every year!
and most important thing is

HAPPY EVERYDAY!!

空虚

最近我身边发生了很多事情

有时会觉得是我的错

但经过第三者和客观的角度来思考后

我非常肯定我从头到脚都没犯错过

我甚至还拉下面子与尊严来讨好别人

但是他人还不能接受或同意我的存在

是他们不喜欢我的介入

还是我无意中说错了什么

还是我阻碍了他们的什么事情

还是。。。？

这一切的猜疑

让我觉得懦弱

让我觉得很瞧不起自己

因为

我开始要为了别人而浪费我头脑的精力

如今

我身边没有一个可以称得上知心朋友或好朋友的人

我看这些人连朋友也称不上吧？

不要紧

至少我还有我自己

还有自己的本事

凭这点

我还能好好的过

而且要比任何人都好！！

心情

要是能给我现在的心情来个评价

那个评价将会是 -100

不是我颓废

也不是情绪化

而是我正在回想我放假前的生活

回想起来我真的要狠狠给自己几个耳光！

我何时变得那么的软弱？

我何时变得那么没志气？

我何时变得要投靠别人？

我何时变得那么没尊严？

甚至不要脸的去接近别人！

这根本不是我！

原本只是想要甩掉孤僻的影子

但这对我一点都不好！

只要我还是第一个学期的我不就好了吗？

你一定行的！

记住！

我是为自己而活！

我永远是那只天生冷漠及高傲的蝎子！

那些人？靠边站！

P/S:

有时蝎子也会累，不过为了不让自己受伤

就必须时时刻刻竖起剧毒的尾巴来保护自己

choices

We need to deal with choices in our whole life

That’s why I feel so miserable and really in a dilemma now

I want to let go off my training in badminton  

I don’t want to face it anymore

It’s absolutely not my will

If not because of that stupid kk

Im sure not involve with that

It’s fine for me to play around

But not play seriously

My passion is dancing

I want to dance seriously

Sorry dad, Michael, and miss corina..

I know im letting you all down..

But please don’t lay your hope on me

i sure will make a big dissapoinment!!

(believe me)

Better lay on the youngest brother  ^^v

He is greater than me

I just can do the best in dancing and academic

So sorry for that..

Then how about my kk performance and rates?

That is the biggest problems….

I think I better look for other field.

And again 

Another choices..another challenges..

I think the routine just will stop by the time I’ve been buried underground ==”

My Lady

Dear bloggie

Today I would like to share with you about a lady that I admire recently

I found this lady when I was doing a project work on English presentation

Well I didn’t have any idea about her before that

But when I first saw her

My mind totally fall on her

Is it what others called: “ first-sighted love”?

..Hehehe..

Yea here it is

Let me present the lady that attracted my attention insanely

۰•● ❤ Audrey Hepburn ❤ ●•۰

See how beautiful and elegant she was?

Yes..it is a “was” cos she departed this life before the time I know her..T.T

The thing that attracted me about her is her temperament..

You know I just can’t help with those proclivity and elegance!!

That’s what I aspire after! I mean, forever!

For your information, Hepburn was voted "most beautiful woman of all time" in a poll of beauty experts.

she really deserved it

i agree with with my both hands on~even my both legs on too!

And what im most excited about is her fashion style!

Simple and elegant! That’s what I love all this time!

Her fashion styles continue to be popular among women although she’d passed away.

Hepburn did enjoy fashion, but she did not place much importance on it.

Well it totally same with me..i am do not put importance into my daily makeover.  I preferred casual, comfortable clothes as Audrey always was.

In addition, she never considered herself to be very attractive.

and my favourite quotation from her is : "you can even say that I hated myself at certain periods. I was too fat, or maybe too tall,
(im short in fact)

or maybe just plain too ugly... you can say my definiteness stems from underlying feelings of insecurity and inferiority. I couldn't conquer these feelings by acting indecisive. I found the only way to get the better of them was by adopting a forceful, concentrated drive".

Oh my god

See? That’s the place where I really impress and admire about her  

"Ordinary but temperament"

"Aristocracy but sweet"

how much I wish she is my sister

Sure we can become best friend after all!

p/s:

Love you always Audrey Hepburn!

Honestly, you are my first British lady idiol after Taiwanese Jolin Tsai ~^^

Simple but Special Gift

A special entry for myself~｡◕‿◕｡

This year’s  birthday finally turn me into a lady..

A lady who start her age number by numerical letter 2..

Therefore, I decided to buy a gift for myself..^^

                                                                                                                                      

Although my birthday passed almost 2 weeks long,

But still found nothing yet..

Why don’t I have a prior decision before that?

That’s because I want a gift that suits me and my new “age” well

I demand a meaningful gift

Finally.. I found this baby~

A Red Long Clutch..

Although its not a branded product bag such as Chanel, LV, Prada, Gucci...bla bla bla..

but its out-standing combination of red and gold colour plus its simple design had totally pull my heart away!

Besides,

 I dun know about others but I myself dun like too much illustrated or flowery bag

Personally I prefer a one-toned, simple and elegant bag.

See how elegant my baby was? ≥ω≤ 

　I think it suits every event, no matter formal or casual..

and it last long..

i mean it won’t out-dated!

Cos simple last long! ^o^

long enough to suit my 20+ age lifetime and event..=="

Anyway,

Thx Buddha for gave me the chance to meet my Little Red~^^

~Yeepie~

p/s:

I dun like number 2 be the 1st of my age number..sob..T.T